Age is but a Number
by Miko Akako
Summary: Holly married Trouble, and Artemis didn't react well. Twenty years later, Artemis finds himself needing the help of the LEP. What happens when he runs into Holly again? ;; Slight Spoilers for the Series, but nothing obvious.


**Miko:** Alright. So I've been debating if I should post this or not. Mostly I wrote it for myself, because I want an ending, darn it. So this is my resolution to the HollyxTroublexArtemis thing.

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**Age is but a Number**

Artemis didn't even notice what was going on for the first few decades. It even took Butler a few years to realize that Artemis was different. Of course, Butler had always known that Artemis wasn't the average child, but this new realization would astound any doctor of any science. Artemis first realized when, on his 25th birthday, he looked at a picture from when he was fifteen and could hardly find a difference. Yes, his voice had changed, and he was a few inches taller, but in all other respects he looked identical to the picture on the mantle. He dismissed it as good genes.

On his fortieth birthday, he had to concede. His father had passed away years ago, and his mother was deteriorating quickly. Butler had retired, but was still living in Fowl Manor and Artemis spent most of his free time with his old bodyguard. Juliet had married one of the Jade Princesses fans, and her twins had just completed their training at Madam Ko's. To everyone's relief, neither had their mother's flair. Beckett and Myles were twenty eight and causing all kinds of trouble. And yet Artemis was frozen in time.

He knew what he needed to do, but his hand shook as he reached for his phone. It had been far too long since he had spoken to his friends below the ground. After Holly had married Trouble Kelp, he cut himself off. At first his phone had buzzed constantly, always showing Holly's name on the screen. Two phones had been destroyed by crashing into the wall before Artemis decided to upgrade to an indestructible model. Then, the calls came further apart. Once a day; once a week; once a year. Despite that, he had never deleted the contact. It was as if some part of him knew he would never be able to completely escape from his past.

"Artemis?" The phone hadn't even rung once before it was answered. "What's wrong? Is Butler okay? Is your mother –"

"Everyone is fine, Holly." Artemis said, forcing his voice to be calm. "However, I do believe there is a situation that I should bring to the attention of the LEP. May I speak to Commander Kelp?" He bit his lip to keep the venom from his voice.

"Artemis I…Commander Kelp is at the LEP office. I can patch you through, though." There was something there, Artemis knew, but he didn't waste time asking. He wanted to figure out this problem as quickly as possible, even though it was obvious time wasn't short.

"Thank you, Major." Artemis heard the call forward and it was answered a few moments later by the unmistakable voice of Trouble Kelp, Commander of the LEP.

"Thank you for taking my call, Commander." Artemis said. He hadn't taken the time to compose his speech, but he was good at improvisation. "I am calling to request a shuttle to Haven. I know you are not my fan, but I'm afraid this isn't about me. I can only explain after you see me, but I do promise I am not wasting your time or energy."

"This had better be good, Mud Boy." Trouble said. "If it's not…You'll be lucky to see the surface again. Get to Tara at the next full moon and your papers will be waiting."

"Thank you, Commander." It had been many years since Artemis had been to Tara, but he would know the way blindfolded. At first he had taken to sitting outside it, hidden by his own brand of cam-foil that even the sharpest fairy eyes couldn't pick up. Perhaps he had been waiting to see one of his old friends again, but he would have been disappointed. Of course, shortly before her marriage, Holly had been given the rank of Major, and so would be kept underground instead of running surface missions. Yet another reason to break off their contact.

As Artemis reached the Tara shuttleport, he was greeted by a pixie he didn't know, but who obviously knew him. He had to hunch slightly to avoid hitting the ceiling and he realized just how long it had been since he'd seen this world. He was surprised by how much he missed it.

"Major Short is waiting for you in the shuttle." The pixie said, indicating Artemis take the lead down the last passage. Instead, he came to a halt.

"Major Holly Short?" He asked. This wasn't part of his plan. Ideally he wouldn't have to see Holly at all. Of course, he never thought that would happen, but at least he wouldn't see her until after he spoke to Commander Kelp.

"Of course, Mud B- Artemis Fowl." The pixie said. "She commandeered our best shuttle for your flight. I've had tourists complaining all day."

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience." He said, trying to put feeling behind it. All he could think of was how Holly would react to seeing him. Or, more importantly, how he would feel to see her. He liked to think he was over his childhood infatuation, but from the increase in his pulse when Holly's name was mentioned he doubted it. The pixie didn't respond, and Artemis took the lead until he got to the shuttle. He went in and braced himself.

"Hey Mud Boy." Holly looked exactly the same as the last time he saw her. She was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips and a serious expression on her face. She held it for just a minute before replacing it with a huge smile. "It's been a while."

"Yeah. I was…busy." Artemis said lamely. He held his hands out in a peace offering, but more out of nerves.

"For twenty-three years?" Holly asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"It's a lot harder earning money the legal way." Artemis said. He felt like he was a teen again, having to explain everything, and not a grown man

"You weren't just avoiding me, then?" Holly made no move, so Artemis couldn't enter the shuttle any further and Artemis had to wait outside so he wouldn't accidently bump into her.

"Of course not." Artemis said. "Congratulations on the promotion, by the way." Artemis scanned the shuttle briefly, searching for anything to change the subject. "Looks like Foaly's made some improvements to the design." Holly refused to be sidetracked.

"I heard about your father, Artemis." She said. "I'm so sorry. I called. I even got myself a pass to visit, but you weren't there."

"I was away on business." He said. "Butler told me he explained that to you."

"He did." She admitted. "But why did you pull into the driveway minutes after he called to tell you I left. You were avoiding me, Fowl."

"Just take me to see the Commander." Artemis said, slipping around the small elf. He had no explanation for her accusations because she was right. But he had had his chance at her, and he lied. So he didn't have a choice but to avoid her. Just seeing her now and knowing she married Trouble Kelp was enough to make him want to gag.

"Fine." She said, taking her spot in the pilot's seat. She punched in a few coordinates and swiveled the chair around to face Artemis. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

"Of course not. I'm…I am absolutely fine." He knew she would connect the dots eventually, but he put on his best innocent face while Holly squinted her eyes at him. A few moments later, her eyes widened, making the difference in colors all the more striking.

"Artemis. You…How old are you now?" He didn't answer, giving her a minute to figure it out. "You look exactly the same, though. What happened? Did you convince N ̊1 to do something? Or did the magic you stole come back?"

"Is that what you think of me, Holly? After everything I've done for the People, I'd hoped your opinion of me changed." He sunk into a seat, lifting his hands to massage his temple. Holly waited, knowing that he was thinking.

"I honestly have no idea what is happening to me, but I have a theory. Do you remember Leonor?" He didn't need her to answer. He knew she wouldn't forget Turnball Root and his human wife. Artemis himself had only hazy memories of the time, thanks to the electroshock therapy he had undergone for his Atlantis Complex. "She lived far longer than she should have due to her association with the People. I think something about magic slows down the aging process, hence your long lives. When I acquired magic," Holly muttered something that sounded like 'you mean stole.' "When I _acquired_ magic, I think it permanently altered my genes. I burned out trying to heal my mother, but that doesn't mean there aren't residual sparks left, continuously stopping me from aging."

"So what do you want?" Holly asked after a moment's pause. "Surely you aren't attracting attention yet. You're only forty."

"I wanted to talk to Foaly about reversing it." Artemis said. "In theory, if the residual magic can be removed from my system, I should begin aging like normal. I want Foaly's opinion on my theory. I tried to contact him, but I have to go through the LEP commander."

"Don't you _want_ to live forever?" She asked. The old Artemis would have been overjoyed at the prospect of living so long.

"I have very little worth living for." He said. "The business is thriving, and Myles is already starting to take some of the responsibility of running it, and Beckett has become quite the spokesman for the company. My mother is not getting younger, and neither is Butler. Everyone I care about is slipping away from me, and I don't even have the satisfaction of knowing that I will one day follow."

"You still have me, you know." Holly said. She wasn't sure she liked this new Artemis. She missed it when he came up with a brilliant scheme to save the day. This Artemis seemed almost fragile.

"No, I don't, Holly." He said, looking away and at the floor. He mused for a second on how different he was becoming. The Artemis who wanted to control the world would never have flinched from eye contact. "I never had you. You and the LEP tolerated me when they needed my help, and I enjoyed pretending I could fit in to your world, but the truth is I have always been alone."

"That's not true, Arty!" Holly stood. When he was sitting, she was almost able to look him in the eye. "I did not just tolerate you. I do not tolerate anyone I don't like. You should know that."

"Fine." Artemis said, uncomfortable that she was using the name his mother used. "But it doesn't change the fact that you married Trouble Kelp."

"At least we're the same species!" Holly said, turning bright red. "But it didn't last. We were too much alike. He wanted me to stay behind a desk while he went out in the field. And I didn't, so he threatened to demote me. It got to the point where he just wouldn't go home at nights." Artemis saw her turn her head to the side to hide a growing tear and he felt a tug of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Holly. I didn't know." It was no excuse, but it was all he could say.

"I called you." She said. "I left messages with your mother and Butler. But you never got back to me."

"What did you expect, Holly?" He said. "I made it clear how I felt about you, and you still married Trouble. I couldn't bear to hear you talk about him. I couldn't even think about you without feeling hurt. No one has ever been able to hurt me like you."

"You were a child compared to me." Holly said. "And I see Mud Men television. Every other channel is about how fickle human emotions are. Flitting from person to person."

"When have I ever been normal?" Artemis said. "Besides, I think you're the one who was divorced."

"Technically marriage isn't a legal contract like it is for you Mud Men, so I didn't actually get a divorce." Holly sounded defensive. "And I blame your influence."

"So now your marriage problems are my fault?" Artemis crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you care to explain how, by minding my own business on the surface, I ruined your marriage?"

"No one can compare to you." She said. Her mismatched eyes were flashing and Artemis leaned against the side of the shuttle. "You're arrogant and condescending. And you lie and steal and cheat. But despite that, you became one of the best friends I ever had."

"Is that a compliment?" Artemis smirked, more to cover his embarrassment than out of arrogance. "I wish you'd told me twenty years ago."

"Well, you weren't exactly pouring your heart out back then either." She said.

"Actually…If you remember Orion –"

"Oh Frond. Who could forget that bumbling Mud Boy knight." Holly laughed, and Artemis joined her. It felt like he was a child again, even though he rarely laughed then.

"It's too bad it took us this long." Artemis said. "I guess we'll always have to wonder if it would have worked out."

"Why do we have to wonder, mud boy?" Holly asked.

"Naturally I assumed you no longer…That is to say. You've outgrown…" The elf watched him fumble for the words. Finally, she took pity on him by laying a hand on his arm.

"When we do fall in love, it tends to be permanent." She said. "Even if the person is a giant Mud Man who held us captive in exchange for some gold. Even if he doesn't feel the same way." She looked up to meet his eyes, daring him to speak.

"Holly I don't know what to say." Artemis ran a hand through his hair. Holly lowered her gaze and turned to walk away, but Artemis reached out with a speed that wouldn't normally have been attributed to him and grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him. "Will you let me finish?" She just glared at him, trying to hide the color rising in her cheeks. "I don't know what to say, because I never thought you would say that. In every scenario I constructed you only considered me an annoying…"

"Shut up, Artemis." Holly said. "Just for once in your life, shut up." Artemis was shocked into silence and Holly took the chance to hover up the few inches to draw level with him. She pressed her lips to his gently before pulling away.

"Oh." Artemis wished he could take it back as soon as it came out. He was a grown man. Some silly kiss shouldn't be enough to make his face turn red and reduce him to stuttering. And he had thought he had outgrown his hormones.

"Well?" Holly asked.

"Well what? You told me to shut up." Artemis tried to think of something – anything to say. He had no experience in this thing. The closest relationship he had was with Butler, and naturally the bodyguard wasn't inclined to try and explain these feelings. Eloquence wasn't one of Butlers attributes.

"Since when have you needed my permission to speak?" Holly asked. "Just say the word and I'll take you to Trouble. He'd be more than happy to hand you over to Foaly for experimentation." For a moment, Artemis considered it. Then, almost instantly, he rejected the idea.

"No." He said. "I mean – I think I have always loved you, Holly. But…Now I'd better come up with an excuse for wasting the Commander's time…"

"Typical Artemis. I confess my feelings to you and you need to come up with some stupid plan. I suppose it wouldn't help if I suggested something?"

"What?"

"Maybe you could tell him the truth? Just…leave out your theory about reversing it. Perhaps…Well, we wouldn't want to risk exposure, would we? I know you're not a huge fan of living here, but…" She trailed off. It had to be Artemis who suggested it. She didn't want to be the one to trap him.

"You're a genius Holly!" He said. "I can ask for permanent residence in Haven. Surely Kelp and the Council will see what a risk it is, me living proof that fairy's can prolong life." The familiar, vampire like smile crept across his features and sent a shiver down Holly's spine.

"Of course I'm a genius." She said. "Took you long enough to realize."

"Holly?" She inclined her head at him. "Barring any unforeseen disasters; would you be able to come and visit soon? I know my mother would like to see you."

"No strings?" She asked, letting eyebrow raise. "No kidnapping? No trolls or goblins? No time travel?" Artemis almost laughed.

"No strings, Holly. I've just missed you so much. Will you please do me the honor of visiting me, Holly Short?"

"Hmmm. I'll have to think about it." She said seriously, turning back to face the consol. "Of course I will, Arty. Nothing would make me happier."

For the first time in over twenty years, Artemis Fowl felt as if his life was beginning to look up.


End file.
